I don't know where I went wrong, but I can write a song.
I love college.
I do.
Roberts is incredible, and I am loving my time here. Now the question is, am I using my time here wisely, or no?
Lord, you're breaking me. I know that I cannot reach my potential until I have been broken. but I just don't know. is this your way of telling me what I thought you had been telling me all along?
now. there lies the next question: is this you or me?
where is this coming from?
on one side Biochemistry is a solid choice. I'm a smartie. supposedly. I'll end up with a good job with good pay- which i'll need after my undergraduate degree, followed by grad school, and my doctorate.
to do something that i would enjoy.. but most certainly would not fulfill me. Oh for sure, my family would be so proud. this is a secret, but then never really set expectations for me, that was my sister's job. so now, wow, i'm on the right track.
on the other side.
a double major in spanish and music ministry?
do the thing that i love the most on this earth (music) to glorify God (ministry), whom I love more than anything else, in a culture that my heart aches for (spanish).
i would be a let down to this world. but in the end, why does this world even matter ouside of living life to its fullest, every second the best that we have, all for the glory of God?
I guess Chemistry and Biology... They just don't feel right. I'm not feeling fulfilled. Chrissy made a good point when she said, "well, you could be a medical missionary." but that's not where i feel led. I feel led to not minister to the body- but the heart. I give mad props to those who feel led to heal the body, because I could never. but i want to minister. in a way that only worship can. when you play those certain notes, and sing those certain words, that don't even matter, but somehow, God uses them to touch a piece of you that you didn't even know was there, and then, there it is: God's presence flowing over you and healing and freeing, and it's incredible. I don't know how else to describe it.
I love everyone on this campus, but there is one professor that i have that said something that really bothered me: "It is extremely important to go to college to get a well-paying job."
my life is like a vapor in the wind. Here for such a short, fleeting, trivial. trivial? not necessarily. my life may seem incredibly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, however, what if my life was to be considered a success not by human definition, rather, God's? What is success? making money? not even close. I firmly believe that if we give all that we have always, in an effort to give glory to our indescribably perfect, loving, just, sovereign Lord, then He will bless us. I will no longer be simply a vapor in the wind that disappears.. but maybe a vapor that someone else breathes in, and then breathes out, and then another person breathes that in, and out, and in and out. and then maybe then, God will have used ME, how honored and humble and hoping that maybe He would choose me. so imperfect. so inadequate by the world's standards. That He would choose me to maybe make a difference, and further His kingdom.
Maybe I just made up my own mind.
Okay, i'm very tired. soccer is taking it's toll. and so is the homework that I'm not doing. remind me again that I need to get good grades or this isn't going to work out anyway.
pray for me if you think about it.
:)
sweet dreams, and good night.
I do.
Roberts is incredible, and I am loving my time here. Now the question is, am I using my time here wisely, or no?
Lord, you're breaking me. I know that I cannot reach my potential until I have been broken. but I just don't know. is this your way of telling me what I thought you had been telling me all along?
now. there lies the next question: is this you or me?
where is this coming from?
on one side Biochemistry is a solid choice. I'm a smartie. supposedly. I'll end up with a good job with good pay- which i'll need after my undergraduate degree, followed by grad school, and my doctorate.
to do something that i would enjoy.. but most certainly would not fulfill me. Oh for sure, my family would be so proud. this is a secret, but then never really set expectations for me, that was my sister's job. so now, wow, i'm on the right track.
on the other side.
a double major in spanish and music ministry?
do the thing that i love the most on this earth (music) to glorify God (ministry), whom I love more than anything else, in a culture that my heart aches for (spanish).
i would be a let down to this world. but in the end, why does this world even matter ouside of living life to its fullest, every second the best that we have, all for the glory of God?
I guess Chemistry and Biology... They just don't feel right. I'm not feeling fulfilled. Chrissy made a good point when she said, "well, you could be a medical missionary." but that's not where i feel led. I feel led to not minister to the body- but the heart. I give mad props to those who feel led to heal the body, because I could never. but i want to minister. in a way that only worship can. when you play those certain notes, and sing those certain words, that don't even matter, but somehow, God uses them to touch a piece of you that you didn't even know was there, and then, there it is: God's presence flowing over you and healing and freeing, and it's incredible. I don't know how else to describe it.
I love everyone on this campus, but there is one professor that i have that said something that really bothered me: "It is extremely important to go to college to get a well-paying job."
my life is like a vapor in the wind. Here for such a short, fleeting, trivial. trivial? not necessarily. my life may seem incredibly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, however, what if my life was to be considered a success not by human definition, rather, God's? What is success? making money? not even close. I firmly believe that if we give all that we have always, in an effort to give glory to our indescribably perfect, loving, just, sovereign Lord, then He will bless us. I will no longer be simply a vapor in the wind that disappears.. but maybe a vapor that someone else breathes in, and then breathes out, and then another person breathes that in, and out, and in and out. and then maybe then, God will have used ME, how honored and humble and hoping that maybe He would choose me. so imperfect. so inadequate by the world's standards. That He would choose me to maybe make a difference, and further His kingdom.
Maybe I just made up my own mind.
Okay, i'm very tired. soccer is taking it's toll. and so is the homework that I'm not doing. remind me again that I need to get good grades or this isn't going to work out anyway.
pray for me if you think about it.
:)
sweet dreams, and good night.
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