call me a wimp, call me whatever.
Haha so, I don't care if this make y'all think I'm some kind of a wimp, but I'm having a particularly bad day with my legs. I cant remember if I told you guys or not yet, but both of my legs are cracked in several places. "stress fractures" to be specific. If I've learned anything though, a fracture still hurts like crazy, even if it is just caused from a lot of stress to the bone.
anyway.
I am going to give you a very detailed description of how I feel right now. haha.
enjoy.
the pain isn't like a normal pain. It's more like... an aching. like my bones are about to implode, or turn themselves inside out. Sometimes they tingle, or itch, or go numb.
It's like the very fibers of my bones are slowly disintegrating, or cracking, or something. It hurts all the way from down into my feet, up into my femur in the top of my leg. have you ever walked around an amusement park all day? and then you get that pain in your feet as soon as you sit down to go home? that terrible throbbing pain? now that you have that wonderful feeling etched into your brain, multiply it by about 4 or 5, and then spread it all up and down your legs. I feel like I might fall over sometimes, like the bones aren't even strong enough to hold me up.
don't judge me, but sometimes, if I'm walking somewhere, I'll joke around and be like, "haha hey, you should carry me." but they dont- clearly, because that would be weird- and I kind of die inside when I look at the distance I have to walk. Because it does hurt. I've started using a stool as often as I can get away with in band. Then when I need to play something like the marimba I go to stand up at it, and like today, the aching and throbbing suddenly turns into this shooting sharp needle-like stabbing pain concentrated in the actual fractures. I'm not sure why, I mean, that doesn't happen too often, it's not like I can't walk. but when it does happen I honestly just want to lay down and put my entire legs into a bucket of ice until they go numb.
I think what scares me the most is that my estimated six weeks of healing time is almost over. I have like a week left. At first, they were getting better. but now all of a sudden they hurt like the soccer season never ended.
It would be hard for anyone to understand how much I miss soccer. I dream about it sometimes. well, a lot actually.
I miss it.
so stinkin much.
hah, then I think about people like Liz who break their back and cant play for 9 months... wow.
I give her props.
I couldn't do it.
Then again, I might have to:
ANNOUNCEMENT:
I am officially (meaning, I am stating somewhere outside of my own head for the first time) announcing that I have started to consider the prospect of ending my soccer career.
---GASP!--
not completely of course, don't get too scared :p
--PHEWWWW--
I couldn't do that to myself. hahaha.
--laughter--
No, what I mean, is that I'm starting to think that college soccer might not be the right road for me to travel. which sucks. but I don't know. I'm thinking.
Maybe I'll just start up a crazy good intramural team.
we'll see. I gotta pray about it.
Oh and hey- one song that never gets old: Save the world by Swedish House Mafia.
so, hey. I guess life changes sometimes. and right now, I cant even come cloase to imagining what I'll be doing next fall. but whatever it is??
challenge accepted.
CHYAHHH BRO!!!
bye guys :)
remember: go big or go home. no matter what.
here are some inspirational quotes as you leave. hahaha :
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." - Lance Armstrong
"never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game." - a cinderella story
"The most important thing in life, is to give out love, and to let it come it." - Morrie Schwartz
anyway.
I am going to give you a very detailed description of how I feel right now. haha.
enjoy.
the pain isn't like a normal pain. It's more like... an aching. like my bones are about to implode, or turn themselves inside out. Sometimes they tingle, or itch, or go numb.
It's like the very fibers of my bones are slowly disintegrating, or cracking, or something. It hurts all the way from down into my feet, up into my femur in the top of my leg. have you ever walked around an amusement park all day? and then you get that pain in your feet as soon as you sit down to go home? that terrible throbbing pain? now that you have that wonderful feeling etched into your brain, multiply it by about 4 or 5, and then spread it all up and down your legs. I feel like I might fall over sometimes, like the bones aren't even strong enough to hold me up.
don't judge me, but sometimes, if I'm walking somewhere, I'll joke around and be like, "haha hey, you should carry me." but they dont- clearly, because that would be weird- and I kind of die inside when I look at the distance I have to walk. Because it does hurt. I've started using a stool as often as I can get away with in band. Then when I need to play something like the marimba I go to stand up at it, and like today, the aching and throbbing suddenly turns into this shooting sharp needle-like stabbing pain concentrated in the actual fractures. I'm not sure why, I mean, that doesn't happen too often, it's not like I can't walk. but when it does happen I honestly just want to lay down and put my entire legs into a bucket of ice until they go numb.
I think what scares me the most is that my estimated six weeks of healing time is almost over. I have like a week left. At first, they were getting better. but now all of a sudden they hurt like the soccer season never ended.
It would be hard for anyone to understand how much I miss soccer. I dream about it sometimes. well, a lot actually.
I miss it.
so stinkin much.
hah, then I think about people like Liz who break their back and cant play for 9 months... wow.
I give her props.
I couldn't do it.
Then again, I might have to:
ANNOUNCEMENT:
I am officially (meaning, I am stating somewhere outside of my own head for the first time) announcing that I have started to consider the prospect of ending my soccer career.
---GASP!--
not completely of course, don't get too scared :p
--PHEWWWW--
I couldn't do that to myself. hahaha.
--laughter--
No, what I mean, is that I'm starting to think that college soccer might not be the right road for me to travel. which sucks. but I don't know. I'm thinking.
Maybe I'll just start up a crazy good intramural team.
we'll see. I gotta pray about it.
Oh and hey- one song that never gets old: Save the world by Swedish House Mafia.
so, hey. I guess life changes sometimes. and right now, I cant even come cloase to imagining what I'll be doing next fall. but whatever it is??
challenge accepted.
CHYAHHH BRO!!!
bye guys :)
remember: go big or go home. no matter what.
here are some inspirational quotes as you leave. hahaha :
"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." - Lance Armstrong
"never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game." - a cinderella story
"The most important thing in life, is to give out love, and to let it come it." - Morrie Schwartz
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